Friday, March 21, 2014

Tell Me Pastor responds to Disowned because of my bisexual lifestyle letter writer

It is been a while since I paid much attention to pastor Dumas's column in the Star News as I am still convinced that some of those letters are not real or edited in such as way to gain readership, now comes this entry on what is supposed to be a dejected bisexual and if we are to go by the Pastor's day job as a psychologist then he ought to have known that homosexuality has been removed from the Diagnostic Statistical Manual, DSM long ago, 1973 in fact and that his personal religious views must never conflict with his profession.

Check out the letter firstly then his response below:

Dear Pastor,

I am a constant reader of your column and find your work very interesting. I believe the advice you give is accurate and straight to the point, so I am requesting your advice.

I am an 18-year-old male, living with my grandmother. most of my family is aware of the fact that I am bisexual. Ever since they found out, I have been expressing a do-not- care attitude to the world, meaning I don't care what anyone else thinks.

I am living my life the way I want to. I am a pre-university student. Before the Christmas holiday, I started to make some bad decisions. Apart from the life I live, I started to party every weekend and during the week, sometimes.

I have been consuming a lot of alcohol and smoking (not ganja)

Recently, my mother came from Canada and heard that I was with my boyfriend, coming from a club. My mother did not know of my sexuality.

We could not get a cab but, luckily, I saw my aunt and she took us home. She told my mother everything she saw.

My mom claimed she has disowned me. However, she never took care of me in the first place, so I don't let that be a bother to me.

I am indecisive as to what to do next because, in addition to my family knowing my lifestyle, the community I live in knows as well.

Please, express your thoughts on this matter.

Yours truly

Proudly confused
Pastor's response

Dear Proudly confused,

What are you proud about? If it is the lifestyle you love, why are you confused? You said you are bisexual and some of your relatives now know what you are doing. Your mother has decided to disown you. It is unfortunate she has taken that position. I suppose it has come as a shock to her.

Perhaps you do not believe what the Bible says about homosexuality. The Bible does not sanction that type of lifestyle. I can never encourage you to continue to make love with a person of your own sex. You may reject my suggestions but I believe God is able to change you. If you are determined to serve him, nothing is impossible for God to do.

I would, therefore, suggest you seriously consider seeing a Christian family counsellor or psychologist for professional help. I will be praying for you and I ask my readers to do the same.


So a Christian counsellor even in the face of clear evidence that homosexuality is not a disorder, really Pastor Duman? The repeated use of the word "lifestyle" in both the supposed letter and response is suspicious and disturbing as psychologists who are properly trained and even advocates who are exposed know that we are dealing with sexual orientation here as the "letter writer" did not give an indication of someone going through a phase or operation behaviourally bisexual which suggests they would be in such a practice merely for the fun of it due to previous same sex exposure in a situational setting or worse yet abuse.

We must call out these suspicious letters when we see them folks. A December 6th 2010 piece is available here from GLBTQ Jamaica Wordpress edition entitled "Tell Me Pastor" on bisexuality also treats bi issues as strange. Although we have gotten used to the pattern I think it is important to continue to track and point out these infractions coupled with the glaring inconsistencies at times as there are some folks who read Pastor Dumas's columns, blogs and follow his radio show ardently.

also see:

Tell Me Pastor recomends Restorative Psychology to Lesbian 2009

Another "Tell Me Pastor" Letter, (real or not?)

See the "Tell Me Pastor" tab immediately below this post for previous entries here as well.

Peace and tolerance



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