I was running late today (as I usually am), and as a result was harried as I got into the elevator in my apartment. That's the only excuse I can think of to give myself for what transpired after that.
One of the mountee-looking security personnel guys who roam the grounds of my complex got into the elevator with me. I barely noticed him because I was thinking "how fucking long does it take for an elevator door to close?" I was also mentally deciding if I'd remembered my moisturizer, because my hands felt like sandpaper. Anyway, he starts asking me how long I've lived in the building, which then got us to my grad program, which got us to movies.
He's asking me what my favorite movies are, and I tell him some of my classics. Turns out one of my all-time crappy favorites is one of his, too, and he can quote it so I know he isn't full of shit. He starts asking me if I have a lot of friends in LA (I know, I know), and I'm like, "oh, you know, I'm still trying to make friends outside of my roommates." He agrees that's the toughest part of moving to a new place and is like, "We should catch a movie some time, I could show you some great places to meet people. Maybe this weekend?" I'm like cool, sure! I'm in friend mode, why not?
So the elevator finally opens and out we go. I tell him I'm really running late, but we can exchange info later. He says no problem, he's seen me around before. I smile, wave, already thinking about how I'm going to have to go 90 MPH to make it to class on time. That's when he drops the bomb:
"So, are you single?"
Wow, I am the biggest moron on the planet. Naturally, I'm a fun combination of embarrassed, surprised, caught off-guard, and more embarrassed. I mumbled yes and ran out of there like my shoe was on fire. Oy fucking vey, what a damned idiot I am. Once I got to the safety of my car and replayed the conversation in my mind, this guy wasn't being coy or subversive, I'm just a DUMB ASS. Which I will have to admit to when I see him again. At the moment I've taken to sprinting to my car and to the elevator.
My roommate: "Or, you could just go out with him."
Me: "How would that be better than admitting I'm an idiot? Remember that little thing about being gay?"
My roommate: "It would make a great blog post."
I hate living with other writers.
Monday, October 19, 2009
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10 comments:
This post made me smile, because I have been there before... totally oblivious to a guy's intentions. I do think you should tell him the truth. You two have some things in common though...maybe you can still be friends.
SweetT
I like your originality and fresh perspectives! Interesting outlook on how you see life.
Please visit if you've a chance & drop me an email: http://brodylevesque.blogspot.com/
Brody Levesque
i have moments of cluelessness too. you inspired my blog for today.
Hhaahah, how great. I think that everyone has, at some point or another, been totally oblivious to the fact that they're being hit on. I can perhaps give you a run for your money...what makes a worse lesbian, not realizing that a guy is hitting on you...or not realizing that a woman is?!
SweetT - I'm definitely going to tell him the truth, despite my writer friends' appetite for drama. Friends would be nice!
Brody - Uhm, hi Brody. Hope you're not just pimping your page out.
Foxy - Glad my asshattery provided some inspiration. Also glad I'm not the only clueless one. ;)
Erika - I'd rather have your problem!
sweet baby jesus, you crack me up
Oh this is great!!I'm the same way but still its good to know I'm not alone..
I've been in the same situation and didn't recognize what was going on until he asked for my phone number! AAaaahh! So I gave him a wrong number and vanished into thin air.
I would do the same thing - I am so dense when it comes to the opposite sex coming on to me.
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